it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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