Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
