Just fell off a train. Bad.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize