I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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