Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
