maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
