i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Randomize
