I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
