Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
