I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
