I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
