Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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