brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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