you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
