He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
