what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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