you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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