Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Bring me that man meat
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
