We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
