Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
