my shit smells like andre
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
is it fun? or sober?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
