HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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