'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Randomize
