i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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