Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Randomize