hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
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It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
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Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.