apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.