Texts From Last Night

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  (925): View more from California

  Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead

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  (925): Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead http://tfl.nu/949y
  Replies (8) Good night (1481) Bad night (646)
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  (514): View more from Quebec

  you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.

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  (514): you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties. http://tfl.nu/owlj
  Replies (17) Good night (2652) Bad night (815)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I just threw up on my dentist

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  (603): I just threw up on my dentist http://tfl.nu/4tee
  Replies (20) Good night (1036) Bad night (3323)
• Favorite

  (623): View more from Arizona

  Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?

  (1-623): View more from Arizona

  Um.. is it mean if I say yes?

  (623): View more from Arizona

  How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"

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  (623): Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years? (1-623): Um.. is it mean if I say yes? (623): How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?" http://tfl.nu/602v
  Replies (35) Good night (827) Bad night (2520)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.

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  (304): yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at. http://tfl.nu/ro5c
  Replies (12) Good night (6186) Bad night (1345)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.

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  (414): can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved. http://tfl.nu/t1em
  Replies (13) Good night (2366) Bad night (3935)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?

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  (336): Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep? http://tfl.nu/earn
  Replies (9) Good night (3719) Bad night (1455)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase

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  (717): You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase http://tfl.nu/khjs
  Replies (3) Good night (1642) Bad night (745)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.

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  (801): Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month. http://tfl.nu/irqs
  Replies (14) Good night (2130) Bad night (1293)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.

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  (678): I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth. http://tfl.nu/apt1
  Replies (5) Good night (1368) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."

  (301): View more from Maryland

  That wasn't a compliment.

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  (202): She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal." (301): That wasn't a compliment. http://tfl.nu/gg7a
  Replies (14) Good night (783) Bad night (2313)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA

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  (347): WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA http://tfl.nu/6u80
  Replies (5) Good night (1028) Bad night (554)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?

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  (479): Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus? http://tfl.nu/0nek
  Replies (4) Good night (664) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (815): View more from Illinois

  I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.

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  (815): I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven. http://tfl.nu/2w4l
  Replies (3) Good night (483) Bad night (323)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.

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  (402): I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down. http://tfl.nu/5dy9
  Replies (1) Good night (290) Bad night (147)

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