He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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