Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
