Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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