porn star boner night. come get it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
I stole a fireplace last night.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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