I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
