Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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