He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
