Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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