At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Randomize