I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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