you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
And then the night went full on bisexual.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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