no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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