Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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