I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
