you guys were way drunker than both of me
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
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Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
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I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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