So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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