of course. lets lasso hookers.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
