so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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