I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Randomize
