I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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