You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
