He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
