I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
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How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
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ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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