my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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