we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
