I can text with my tongue
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
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