I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
