Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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