Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
