Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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