I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
zippers are such a cool invention
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
