Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
