Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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