just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Randomize
