we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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